FORGE ARTIFACTS

Unique pieces for the discerning wasteland warrior. Conversation starters and desk destroyers.

THE SCROTUM CATCHER
SIGNATURE

The Scrotum Catcher

The paperweight that started it all. Handcrafted from solid steel with a finish that screams "I don't give a damn about your office decor." Perfect for holding down important papers or just making a statement.

  • Solid steel construction
  • Hand-forged finish
  • Conversation guaranteed
  • Doubles as self-defense tool
  • Limited production runs
$75 - $125
ORDER NOW VIEW GALLERY
PATCHES Woven & Embroidered

Grim Saints Patches

Show your allegiance to the forge. High-quality embroidered patches for jackets, vests, and whatever else needs some attitude.

  • Embroidered logo designs
  • Iron-on backing
  • Weather-resistant threads
  • Multiple size options
  • Collector series available
$15 - $35
ORDER NOW SIZE GUIDE
BOTTLE OPENERS

Road Warrior Bottle Openers

Hand-forged bottle openers that look like they survived the apocalypse. Perfect for cracking open a cold one after a long ride through the wasteland.

  • Forged steel construction
  • Distressed finish
  • Leather cord included
  • Magnetic back option
  • Custom engraving available
$45 - $85
ORDER NOW CUSTOMIZE
APPAREL T-Shirts & Gear

Grim Saints Apparel

Wear the brand. T-shirts, hoodies, and work shirts that announce your allegiance to the anti-bagger movement. Quality materials that can handle the shop.

  • Heavy-duty cotton blends
  • Screen-printed designs
  • Pre-shrunk fabrics
  • Multiple color options
  • Sizes S through 3XL
$25 - $65
ORDER NOW SIZE CHART
FORGE TOOLS

Miniature Forge Tools

Desk-sized versions of our shop tools. Perfect for the office warrior who dreams of the forge. Functional miniatures that actually work.

  • Working scale models
  • Authentic tool designs
  • Hand-forged details
  • Display stands included
  • Tool sets available
$35 - $150
ORDER NOW TOOL SETS
WHEELS OF RAGE

"Wheels of Rage" Book

The perfect companion to any Road Warrior build. Classic motorcycle literature that captures the spirit of the open road and the fury of the machine.

  • Classic motorcycle literature
  • Road Warrior aesthetics
  • High-quality printing
  • Collector's edition available
  • Author signed copies
$20 - $45
ORDER NOW PREVIEW

ABOUT OUR ARTIFACTS

Hand Forged

Every novelty item is crafted in our Vernon, Florida forge. No mass production, no compromises on quality or character.

Limited Runs

We make small batches of everything. When they're gone, they're gone. No restocks, no repeats.

Conversation Pieces

These aren't just products, they're statements. Own something that tells the world you don't follow the herd.

FORGE YOUR LEGEND

Every piece tells a story. Make sure yours is worth telling.

PLACE YOUR ORDER